Yesterday you said Tomorrow
“Waiting for the right time may not be the smartest thing to do …because sometimes the wrong moment could be the most perfect of all. Anon “
Even as my career progressed, and like anyone else I had a mix of success and frustration, I knew deep inside that I wanted to do something else. Something that I was in full control of, where I owned the successes and the failures. Somewhere free of office politics, hidden agendas, and unreasonable behaviours.
I thought I would make the change at the right time when the chance came. Waiting for the perfect moment when everything was in place so that any chance of failure would be low, and success guaranteed. And I would know when this perfect time would be. Just as soon as my home was secure, when I had money saved, when others that depended on me no longer needed as much support.
So, I carried on, 9-to-5. Maintaining my routine. Waiting. And even though I was finding the work more difficult, the frustrations growing and the coping at home a struggle, I soldiered on. Ignoring the fact that I was not making time to relax and recharge. Not making time to pursue non-work and non-caring interests. Not making time for me. I wouldn’t say I was unhappy. But I was too tired to think about it anyway. I kept catching colds, having headaches, upset stomach, and other minor ailments. But I carried on and ignored what my body was telling me. I wanted it to be different but I knew the right time had not come along yet so I couldn’t start changing things – right? I was so Wrong!
At the time I was feeling my lowest, beset with little illnesses, with no energy, and enthusiasm for my work all but gone change arrived by itself. Exactly at the wrong time, or so I thought. Something happened outside of my control. Carrying on in my work was no longer an option as the work environment had become hostile to me. I had to make a change; the situation could not continue. But it’s too soon I wailed. It’s not the “right time”. I went through a period of utter panic and fear. And instead of taking a moment to think what I needed, or consider what I wanted, I tried to replicate EXACTLY what I had lost with another identikit 9-5 job to get me through to that “perfect” right time. And if I had carried on down that road nothing in my life would have changed for the better. It may have got even worse.
A chance conversation with a good friend, and with the help of a life coach, I realised that although not the ”right time” I had been allowed to do that something I always wanted to do. It was a scary and daunting thought. But I decided to run with an idea I had had for a while. A new business. To get going I would need to make changes to survive on less income. I had to take a risk and put myself well beyond my comfort zone. I had to invest in myself and learn new skills. I scared myself silly.
But I can honestly say that having chosen to change things at the “wrong time” my personal balance sheet is top-heavy on the positive side and I wouldn’t have things any other way now. I have never been happier, in myself or my work. I have set up a business that helps others just like me. I am now able to balance my work and leisure time. I don’t have a boss to ask if I can have an hour, day, or week off (although that is taking a bit of time to adjust to after 30 years in paid employment). I am continually learning new skills, pushing boundaries, and feel more fulfilled than ever before. And, most importantly I am having fun again. If you have seen the outtakes of our first Third Quarter Tribe video you will see the giggles and tears of laughter, even though making that was so far out of my comfort zone I needed a safety rope.
If you are in your 50’s, just like me, and are feeling that your situation has changed, and now you need to change but don’t know how, why not consider seeking the help of a life coach. As a client said to me today, “I thought about myself and felt a sense of time passing”. Try asking yourself these questions, they may help:
1. Have I forgotten that I have choices?
2. Has the routine of life become so entrenched that I am not looking for opportunities to make a change?
3. I deserve the best I can be for myself. Is that what is happening or am I putting the happiness and welfare of others above myself?
4. Am I allowing the little things to become major problems that now stand in my way?
5. Am I dwelling on the past and what went wrong rather than acknowledging I did my best, with what I had at the time?
6. Am I asking why me rather than what’s next?
7. Have I lost my passion or joy for life and what I do?
Looking back, when I asked myself these questions (and others) I could see I needed things to change. Life could not go on as it was making me ill and unhappy. And yet I didn’t do anything about it, I thought it was the wrong time. It wasn’t the perfect moment. But it was the right time, I just didn’t see it. You see I had forgotten that I had choices. I was doing things because I couldn’t see any other way at that time. I didn't explore alternatives. I was putting the welfare and happiness of others before my own and exhausting myself. This was of no use to anyone when it made me ill and grumpy.
I forgot that I had a choice. To stay as I was, exhausted, beaten down, full of doubt, ill and unhappy waiting for that perfect “right time” or go now and take positive steps toward “a place” where I could feel how I wanted to be. Happy, full of energy, appreciating life to the fullest.
It took me a while to realise I had that choice. For too long I stayed in “why me?” land. I dwelt too long in the past, re-running the movies of unfairness, hostility, fear rejection. With the help of a life coach, I rediscovered the choices that I have. I developed a new set of movies about the future, my dreams, and my goals. I rekindled my passion and joy for life itself. I rediscovered what makes me happy. I realised that anytime can be the right time to make a change and this was mine.
There is never a perfect “right time”. I have learned that we never start from the place of complete certainty because, well, we are always learning. Life continually changes, and we change with it. Regrets weigh heavy if we don’t take a risk to change. But we do need to make that start and sometimes that is not easy to do on your own. Life coaching can help you find the motivation within you to make that change. I know it works because it did for me.
If any of this resonated with you, then why not email us or contact us through the website for a free chat? It is your time to remake yourself.